Active Listening
It may seem strange that active listening is listed separately from communication. That is because it is that important. Active listening is a skill. Think of the times when you have had something to say but have not been listened to. How did it feel? Not great, I bet!… When people stop listening, people stop understanding, especially when communication is difficult or fraught.
There is a tendency that, the more emotions are high, the less people listen. Picture the scene: you’re having a disagreement with someone. Are you listening to the details of what they are saying or are you thinking of what you are going to say in response to the keywords that you have managed to hear?
Active listening is sometimes described as preparing to listen. It involves being fully engaged and this is shown by the attentiveness and also reflecting back on what has been said. It’s more than just listening to each sentence uttered but to the whole conversation.
Pay Attention
- Be attentive!
- Give space!
- Don’t finish sentences!
- Don’t formulate your response!
Don't Judge!
- Have an open mind!
- Withhold judgment!
- Don’t criticise!
- Avoid interruptions.
Reflect
- Don’t assume you’ve heard or understood correctly.
- Paraphrase back what you think you’ve heard.
Clarify
- Ask questions. “Let me see if I’m clear? Are you talking about…?” or “Wait, I didn’t follow you.”
Summarise
- Check that everyone is on the same page.
- Briefly outline what’s been covered.
Share
- Share thoughts, ideas, opinions.
- Shift to solution-focused problem-solving, where applicable.