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Assertiveness in interpersonal relationships is all about your mindset. When you are assertive, you acknowledge that both you and other parties are equally important. Therefore care, respect, empathy, and honesty are displayed. This is in direct opposition to when people are aggressive or passive.

Aggressive behaviour stems from the mindset of the aggressive person having the mindset that they are more important than the other party. Therefore, no care is given to how words and actions will impact others. This includes passive-aggressive behaviour or manipulation. It’s ultimately about getting your own way regardless of the collateral damage.

Passive behaviour stems from the mindset that other people are more important than you in interactions. Therefore, you will set aside or dismiss your own feelings, wants or opinions in deference to theirs. In many cases, you may experience discomfort or hurt feelings which will be seldom addressed.


I’m more important than you!

Snide comments, sarcasm, insults, manipulation (sometimes tears), threats, insinuation, abuse, violence, bullying, dobpiling.


You’re more important than me!

Not stating your opinion, not standing up for yourself, not addressing hurt, or injustice, accepting the status quo.


We’re equally important!

Stating your opinion, expressing thoughts & feelings, being respectful, addressing difficult situations, listening, managing emotions.