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Quaker A-Z: Q is for Quakerly

What does Quakerly mean?

I dislike Quakerly as a adjective. It is usually used in a pejorative, not in a friendly way!

“THAT wasn’t very Quakerly….‘

With the ‘THAT’ being something the speaker feels passionately about. But it isn’t actually a specific corporate testimony.

If it is a specific corporate testimony then you can say, ‘Quakers in Britain are an LGBTQ+ affirming faith group…‘ or remind people that Quakers in different countries make different decisions but we have underlying principles.

As I’ve been a Quaker all my life I’ve collected quite a few instances of this phrase directed at me.

Sometimes I reply with humour.

So, when asked if I thought my hat was Quakerly.

I replied, pointing out that I am a Quaker and was wearing it, so I obviously think it is Quakerly.

Take heed, dear Friends, to the promptings of love and truth in your hearts. Trust them as the leadings of God whose Light shows us our darkness and brings us to new life.

Advices & Queries 1

Are you speaking truth to power in love?

Being a Quaker is meant to not just be something you believe in, or see happening on a Sunday during Meeting for Worship.

Which explains why the use of this phrase/word bugs me.

The speaker is judging another’s actions or behaviours. By using ‘Quakerly’ the speaker shows they’ve decided that the Quaker being spoken to is doing, whatever-the-speaker-doesn’t-approve-of – without listening to the promptings of love and truth in the doer’s heart. With the presumption that the promptings of love and truth would align with the speaker’s own views of course!

Quakers come in all so many ways. I loved the 2010 Quaker Week posters showing a Quaker and three statements about them. We used that idea to create a photo album at the Muswell Hill meeting to get to know each other in a different way.

Testimonies

There are five Testimonies commonly held corporately and internationally. I’ve spoken to Quakers who have lived counter to one of those (for specific and painfully discerned reasons). The only thing that directly contradicts Quakerism is to ignore those promptings of love and truth, or that still small voice in your conscience.

We need to trust that those acting differently than us are listening to that still small voice. Accept that the voice might be leading them in a different way than us. Or that where they are listening and discovering that the voice does not like what they find themselves doing. They will have to work out what to do about that.

Either they will change, or they will continue to ignore the voice. Living contrary to it for reasons they feel are important. Those reasons will come at a significant inward cost.

Truth: There are Quakers who have lied deliberately. To tell the truth would have exposed vulnerable people, and they discerned that telling the truth would cause more damage and suffering.

Equality: I have spoken to Quakers who hold very different views than mine on the idea that all people are held equal in God’s love. They have explained the pain they feel. When they believe counter to wider Quaker belief, and feel uncomfortable being judged by me.

Peace: There are Quaker police officers, and soldiers – families have been split by the different choices made. You can see a recent interview below. But there are records of such choices from the English Civil Wars (when the Society of Friends was founded) to now.

Simplicity: Each person will have their own views and expectations on what living simply is. You can not judge someone for choices they make, only from your discerned expectation of a simple life.

Community: Linking back to Equality, if you believe that everyone is equal then everyone belongs. Which is why Quakers work to expand communities and groups to include those on the margins.

If someone is saying that community includes everyone but xxxx, then they should expect to be questioned. Community building and communication are tools against anything that makes another human being ‘other’.

Everyone is a unique child of God, and should be loved even when the way they are living or what they are doing is something that you feel led to challenge.

How you do that is the difference...

If you are challenging someone who is doing/living/being against a Quaker testimony, are you doing that with love and curiosity?

In a true community we will not choose our companions, for our choices are so often limited by self-serving motives. Instead, our companions will be given to us by grace. Often they will be persons who will upset our settled view of self and world. In fact, we might define true community as the place where the person you least want to live with always lives!

10:19 Qf&p Parker J Palmer